I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
