He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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