I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
