I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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