And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
