I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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