But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize