I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
