I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
