yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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