You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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