Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He felt like a one man threesome
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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