He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
