do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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