Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
