I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
