If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Still dying that you shit outside
did you just send me my own nude
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
