Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
