I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
