I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
