my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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