so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
