Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
