I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
