found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
