the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
