I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
