i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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