you traded sex for a burrito?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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