and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
