So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
