I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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