That's intense
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize