You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
