So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
