And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
