Having a random hookup so left but love u
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
