we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
