my mouth tastes like poor choices
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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