Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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