i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
