Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
