You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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