wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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