U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
