Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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