I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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