Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize