who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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