Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
NoShamevember. You game?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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