You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
