I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
