Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
