he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
