Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I understand Curling. That high.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We had sex on a dog bed..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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