he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
