I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
