Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
