OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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