oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
