She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
