Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize