He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
