I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
