It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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