he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
