So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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