Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize