It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
