Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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