I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
