Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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