I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
