I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize