just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
