the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
