THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize