Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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