This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
