Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
